A strange discovery...
I actually like being around other people. I do better when I am not alone. Why is this? Connie would be the first to tell you that I don't actually like that many people, but given the choice between being alone and among people I don't like that much, I usually take the option of being in the group.
I get more work done at the coffee shop down the street, when it is noisy and full of people, than I do sitting alone in my kitchen or home office (which is a bit like Harry Potter's bedroom under the stairway, cozy). I do not need to be interacting with the people, although I do sometimes just for the extroverted hell of it.
Yahh, so, had a fuel cell company interview the other day in Portland. Company X is looking for a senior fuel cell systems engineer, which as it happens, I am. I thought ( ha-ha-f*&%ing-ha!) slam-dunk, go in there and show them who you are, be honest, be kind, be knowledgeable.
Did not quite work out that way. I had prepared about a 1/2 hour slide presentation, sort of a photographic synopsis of my career, a visual resume if you will. They had been nice enough to agree to this being the first thing I did that day. The HR person, T., by the way was incredibly nice. We had had a phone interview a couple of weeks before, and I really felt good about Company X in general (incorrectly) based on that interaction.
When I got there, I met a few of them, among them the hiring manager, C. He was younger than me, maybe thirty-five or so, not hideous or deformed in any way. But something seemed a little weird about C. from the start. It might have been his habitual scowl, that only deepened as I gave my presentation. By the end a few others had left for a teleconference, and it was just him. As a very empathetic person, I could feel his loathing at that point. This was confirmed later by a third party that overheard him cutting me up in the cubicles. The presentation had emphasized my leadership roles, my outgoing personality, my wide range of technical skills.
I then had 1/2 hour with just him. I answered his questions, asked some of my own, for me it was a slightly painful experience because I could feel his discomfort with the interaction. This engineering manager was painfully introverted. My third-party insider had confirmed that he worked seven days a week, had no family, no kids, no close friends, no girlfriend, no pets, no attachments except Company X. I began to think of the Peter Principle, and wondered how this department would ever effectively grow with the company, under his stewardship. He was so threatened by me, my personality, my background, that he was dissing me before I left the building!
I finished the interview set, thankfully everyone else was a bit more open-minded and balanced if not exactly extroverted in each case. I am not saying everyone should be. Not at all. But balance is good, and not scowling at extroverts is good too. I am guessing his mom was way out there, embarrassed him all the time like ours did. Who knows...some people are just not born to interact effectively.
I had been told that the engineering group (I assumed that meant C. and the VP Eng.) would be taking me to lunch. After the last interview I waited for them... and waited. By twenty after noon, it was painfully obvious that C. had just blown me off. Really unprofessional.
Whatever, I went back through Portland on my way to the airport, to have lunch and stop at Powell's Technical Books, my absolute favorite geekplace. I should have felt great. It was a warm sunny day like I hadn't felt in many months. Instead I felt hollow and beaten, by that little shit C. Because no matter how much the HR person, no matter how much the other three persons liked me, in a situation like that, the hiring manager will have an effective veto, particularly if he can summon up a concise statement about why I am the biggest asshole he has ever met without saying it that way. I think he is a clever enough person to pull that off. So, at Powell's I joylessly selected a few tech titles and magazines, and headed for the airport.
Which brings me back to the present. Alone. In the Harry Potter office. Feeling sorry for myself? Not quite. Just not sure what is next on the agenda, what else to try...Perhaps I am too honest, perhaps I need like my brother Robert said to "hide my fire" better. Perhaps I have to find a calling that rewards and respects my nature, rather than expecting me to be diminished to avoid threatening mediocre minds. That gives away the punch-line, one of my favorite quotes -
I get more work done at the coffee shop down the street, when it is noisy and full of people, than I do sitting alone in my kitchen or home office (which is a bit like Harry Potter's bedroom under the stairway, cozy). I do not need to be interacting with the people, although I do sometimes just for the extroverted hell of it.
Yahh, so, had a fuel cell company interview the other day in Portland. Company X is looking for a senior fuel cell systems engineer, which as it happens, I am. I thought ( ha-ha-f*&%ing-ha!) slam-dunk, go in there and show them who you are, be honest, be kind, be knowledgeable.
Did not quite work out that way. I had prepared about a 1/2 hour slide presentation, sort of a photographic synopsis of my career, a visual resume if you will. They had been nice enough to agree to this being the first thing I did that day. The HR person, T., by the way was incredibly nice. We had had a phone interview a couple of weeks before, and I really felt good about Company X in general (incorrectly) based on that interaction.
When I got there, I met a few of them, among them the hiring manager, C. He was younger than me, maybe thirty-five or so, not hideous or deformed in any way. But something seemed a little weird about C. from the start. It might have been his habitual scowl, that only deepened as I gave my presentation. By the end a few others had left for a teleconference, and it was just him. As a very empathetic person, I could feel his loathing at that point. This was confirmed later by a third party that overheard him cutting me up in the cubicles. The presentation had emphasized my leadership roles, my outgoing personality, my wide range of technical skills.
I then had 1/2 hour with just him. I answered his questions, asked some of my own, for me it was a slightly painful experience because I could feel his discomfort with the interaction. This engineering manager was painfully introverted. My third-party insider had confirmed that he worked seven days a week, had no family, no kids, no close friends, no girlfriend, no pets, no attachments except Company X. I began to think of the Peter Principle, and wondered how this department would ever effectively grow with the company, under his stewardship. He was so threatened by me, my personality, my background, that he was dissing me before I left the building!
I finished the interview set, thankfully everyone else was a bit more open-minded and balanced if not exactly extroverted in each case. I am not saying everyone should be. Not at all. But balance is good, and not scowling at extroverts is good too. I am guessing his mom was way out there, embarrassed him all the time like ours did. Who knows...some people are just not born to interact effectively.
I had been told that the engineering group (I assumed that meant C. and the VP Eng.) would be taking me to lunch. After the last interview I waited for them... and waited. By twenty after noon, it was painfully obvious that C. had just blown me off. Really unprofessional.
Whatever, I went back through Portland on my way to the airport, to have lunch and stop at Powell's Technical Books, my absolute favorite geekplace. I should have felt great. It was a warm sunny day like I hadn't felt in many months. Instead I felt hollow and beaten, by that little shit C. Because no matter how much the HR person, no matter how much the other three persons liked me, in a situation like that, the hiring manager will have an effective veto, particularly if he can summon up a concise statement about why I am the biggest asshole he has ever met without saying it that way. I think he is a clever enough person to pull that off. So, at Powell's I joylessly selected a few tech titles and magazines, and headed for the airport.
Which brings me back to the present. Alone. In the Harry Potter office. Feeling sorry for myself? Not quite. Just not sure what is next on the agenda, what else to try...Perhaps I am too honest, perhaps I need like my brother Robert said to "hide my fire" better. Perhaps I have to find a calling that rewards and respects my nature, rather than expecting me to be diminished to avoid threatening mediocre minds. That gives away the punch-line, one of my favorite quotes -
Yeah, I know, John, you are no Einstein. But that does not make it any less true...
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" - A. Einstein
posted by wave_man at 10:47 AM
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