Do they miss me at least?
So, I was laid off from ReliOn on November 17th, from a position I thought was pretty important to the health of the company. I was the only remaining systems engineer, senior by title; my friend Matt had been laid off around July, he had been my junior. He got picked up by another fuel cell company in Portland OR, Clear Edge Power. They are developing fuel cell systems for residential use, natural gas-fired.
Systems engineers, in this context are about 1/3 scientist, 1/3 engineer, and 1/3 communicator/leader. We help evaluate market demands, figure out architecture for products to meet the market demands, develop specifications for the products, develop maps of the internal functions required of the product design, develop detailed subsystem requirements (such that they all fit together perfectly), communicate and negotiate the subsystem requirements with the "normal" Dilbert types that have to do the detail engineering, design tests to evaluate the subsystems and the overall product, write specifications for the tests so that "anyone" can do them, perform the testing when I could, analyze the data and develop reports, communicate the reports, evaluate gaps with the team, determine corrective actions, lead corrective actions, think about the next product...
Seems like I was a pretty busy guy? Maybe...
My boss had started doing a lot of the more interesting parts of my job for a few years, not very well, because I think he did not know how to do the leadership thing required of his position, VP Engineering. I try not to be too ego-driven, it doesn't work well with my head, my heart or the group. But if you are going to do my job, dammit, do it better than me, or at least equal.
So, I had been doing other stuff, largely things that were below his radar or interest level, for a couple of years, just to remain vital mentally. I had designed electronics, for sensors, for data acquisition, for fun. I had basically earned my electrical engineer equivalency by doing. It was a lot of fun, living under the radar, getting important (but not to my boss) work done for the company ( I thought). And doing as much of my real job as my boss would tolerate.
So, what I have to wonder, mostly just as a human being at this point, not as an engineer, or geek, is do they miss me three months later?
Do they recognize the lost value of my talents, skills, spirit, chi, whatever?
Is my name mentioned with reverence or scorn at the water-cooler?
These are ego questions, I know. But they are important to me. I am not so fully evolved as I would wish, that I have stopped caring whether I matter to others. Maybe some day when I am breathing from a 3rd eye I will stop needing these things. Not there yet.
Systems engineers, in this context are about 1/3 scientist, 1/3 engineer, and 1/3 communicator/leader. We help evaluate market demands, figure out architecture for products to meet the market demands, develop specifications for the products, develop maps of the internal functions required of the product design, develop detailed subsystem requirements (such that they all fit together perfectly), communicate and negotiate the subsystem requirements with the "normal" Dilbert types that have to do the detail engineering, design tests to evaluate the subsystems and the overall product, write specifications for the tests so that "anyone" can do them, perform the testing when I could, analyze the data and develop reports, communicate the reports, evaluate gaps with the team, determine corrective actions, lead corrective actions, think about the next product...
Seems like I was a pretty busy guy? Maybe...
My boss had started doing a lot of the more interesting parts of my job for a few years, not very well, because I think he did not know how to do the leadership thing required of his position, VP Engineering. I try not to be too ego-driven, it doesn't work well with my head, my heart or the group. But if you are going to do my job, dammit, do it better than me, or at least equal.
So, I had been doing other stuff, largely things that were below his radar or interest level, for a couple of years, just to remain vital mentally. I had designed electronics, for sensors, for data acquisition, for fun. I had basically earned my electrical engineer equivalency by doing. It was a lot of fun, living under the radar, getting important (but not to my boss) work done for the company ( I thought). And doing as much of my real job as my boss would tolerate.
So, what I have to wonder, mostly just as a human being at this point, not as an engineer, or geek, is do they miss me three months later?
Do they recognize the lost value of my talents, skills, spirit, chi, whatever?
Is my name mentioned with reverence or scorn at the water-cooler?
These are ego questions, I know. But they are important to me. I am not so fully evolved as I would wish, that I have stopped caring whether I matter to others. Maybe some day when I am breathing from a 3rd eye I will stop needing these things. Not there yet.
posted by wave_man at 9:57 AM
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